Behind The mask

I'm great, I’m okay, spectacular. In a way
I relish every night, and I live every day.
I live, I laugh, I write, and I start singing,
I wonder what the next days will be bringing.

Then I get home, and I take off my mask. The day was almost an impossible task, It’s finally over, and so I lie down,
and wait patiently for the day that I drown.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
even though I have a lot of promises to keep. I wait, and wonder, and cry some more, And I ache and burn from my very core.

Then, I'm not alone, the mask reappears:
Out goes the sadness, pain and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person, cheerful all day.
A world full of rainbows and happiness, not one shade of grey.

Of course I'm not okay, I'm not even fine,
No matter how much I look like I shine.
I don't even know why I feel this...
Why my existence is one long, and hard abyss.

But it is, and will be, so I cling to life,
As one day I might slip, and end it with a rope or knife. But, I'm still here, no matter what my dreams might say,

And I hope that one day I might actually be okay​.