Poem -
Beware of Her Currents
Swimming away from the shore
stretching muscles pulling me out
to the deepest parts of your river
Holding my breath underwater
knowing your scent; everywhere
lemon lavender and something
that makes me never want to leave
the cool pleasure licking at my skin
possessing me beyond reason
surfacing-- breathing with a shudder
blinking my eyes into focusing;
looking back while treading water
now seeing the shoreline, so far away
and the tug of your out going currents;
have become even more irresistible
than I ever could've imagined
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Comments
Nice one Christopher,I like this to me it reminds me of how my wife can push me away or draw me in kind of like a current awesome metaphor and wtite my friend allstars.
I like your comment Devon, glad you like this one my friend....I intentionally tried to stay in the present tense with this one to give it more movement and crispness....yes bodies of water can be great metaphors....have a great evening
Hello Christopher...
Sounds like you have been captured my friend...
Great write...
Thank you for sharing...
Remember to breathe when your head pops up...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
Cherie I am always honoured to hear a word from the premier poet herself....I've said it before and I'll say it again---you are the 'best' commenter out there, and yes including me....when you mentioned this, I was so blown away and had to pull quote
.'for better or worse, drawing him in its unpredictable current....with risk to drown, yet the fascination holds him there'.
there is a line from an old Rickey Neilson song....'fools rush in where angels fear...' and yes everything you said in the comment is bang on, I almost feel a little let down that you got all of it, lol....I'm always trying to hide behind a metaphor....thanks Cherie....five star awesome comment
Sparrowsong I'm that transparent huh? lol....yeah after all these years I'm finally beginning to feel comfortable with the idea that I'm a poet; first sign is that folks actually start believing that all the BS you write down is 'real'....thank you for superb comment my friend, and who knows maybe a 'tiny bit' of it could be 'real' after all, lol....have a great evening...
hey chris what a topic you did well on it the way you relate to it
Your A MASTER buddy well done!!
mayne..
Thank you Delmayne, you are a very generous and observant man for calling me a 'master' lol....don't mind me and of cause I'm only kidding D....but I do appreciate the comment my friend, you.have a great day....
o thank you so much Flower, wait Lily Mae said I was a Master writer, not necessarily a master poet, so I still have a long way to go to be a master poet; lol okay enough with the master stuff I ain't the master of anything; believe me, but I appreciate being here and learning from superb poets; that's why I'm still here....cheers Flower
Beautiful obsession Chris ,
Like lemon and salt infused such a desirable comatose xoxox
Love always nardine xox
Love to you my sister from down under....thanks for saying that, yeah it's a decent poem, it pretty much said all I wanted to get off my chest, I felt better after posting lol....the voices in your head can be paranoia or a warning; not sure at times, but if we live long enough we fine out, just have to be tough either way when all is revealed....cheers pal
the voices in my head haunt me in the shower
There's a reason for everything I guess, love you too bro Mwahh xox