Blinded by your lies
A women who thought she was inlove
“Our souls are connected,” we said. I smiled. “You are my other half… I love you” you said.. The years went by, and I lost the ones dearest to me… but not you. You stayed, showed me love, and brought light to me. I love you. Or so I believed… Is it truly love? Or am I blinded by your lies?…
You kissed me goodnight, held my hand, and dried my tears. I love you. Or so I thought. I fall asleep, and you turn your back on me. Betray me while I'm dreaming of our feature. Why do I stay? Am I blinded by your lies?
 “Are you cheating on me?” I asked. You held me close, kissed my lips, and reassured me that you were loyal. I love you. But you lied.Â
You took me out to eat, a nice restaurant, you got on one knee and asked me the big question. “Will you marry me?”. I cried… I cried so much “Yes” I screamed. The server walked up and congratulated us… I should have known the look in your eyes… but I was blinded by my happiness.Â
I saw you standing at the altar. You looked so handsome in your suit… You cried… I saw you cry… Tears of joy. I couldn't wait to finally be married to you
You said your vows “I love you” and “I promise to cherish you forever” You promised I'd be the only one on your mind. I love you. Or so I thought. Am I blinded by your lies?
I remember it… The day I saw you with her. I cried.
 “I love you” and “I'm sorry” you said…. I'd be a fool to believe such words… yet I was a fool all those years.
“Our souls are connected” but at this very moment… they drifted apart… it left mine broken and defeated… I loved you, but I was blinded by your lies.
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Comments
This whole piece of writing hinges on the frequent insertion of "I love you" but it is more than that because it is how you choose your next words that is key. "Or so I thought,. But you lied. But I was blinded by your lies."Â
 My feeling, from a writing perspective, is that the line "I remember it. The day I saw you with her I cried" I feel you do not need I saw you with her. "I remember it. A day I will never forget. I cried." The reader will then draw their conclusion rather than being told. Sorry, this is only a suggestion, not a criticism.
 I am also confused about our souls are connected in speech marks, confused as to who says it. My feeling is it is the cheater in a last effort but I may be wrong.Â
I like how you build this story to its climax.Â
Hello, thank you for your feedback. This is the second poem that I have made, so I didn't expect it to be the best. “Our souls are connected” was said by the woman in the end. Once again, thank you for your feedback. I will keep in mind for the next time!Â
Thank you for clearing that up for me. For what it's worth I think you are being hard on yourself when you say you didn't expect it to be the best. I think both pieces of writing you submitted are good.Â
I think the poem oozes eloquently between the cracks of your broken heart. It's relatable to many. I am sorry you have had to endure this terrible betrayal. Chin up, pen out ... tears make for great poetry ink x