Bottled

I wrote this poem so that I'd feel better, it sometimes rhymes i guess.

I'll drink this ambrosia to forget the pain and the loss.
the anguish seeps into my pores, filling me with that familiar shadow
dampen and drown my pain but it only amplifies.
this Ichor pulsing through my veins, I feel it's effects
take me away from this reality, im sick of this life

this addiction has me in its noose, tighter its grasp until i pass
ill tell you im okay, but you see through me like im glass.
fragile and broken, you see through me.

You say you wanna save me
but you really only wanna save yourself.
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Nobody cares about me.
I'm a loser, im a  freak. 
No one wants to be friends with me.
Sadboy, cryin bout heartbreak.
I'm not special.
We're all in pain.
I just wish I didn't have to be alone.
Sometimes i feel like I'm my only friend.
I'll keep this bottle until im numb.
When I drink It just makes me sadder,
But atleast it's something.
I'd rather be in pain than be numb.
If you can feel you're human.
And maybe there is still hope.
I've been alone for too long.
In my mind, i derive these sorrowed sonnets 
chaotic and broken