Broken Chain

We tried so hard
to make you realize 
your greatness, 
but the desire for a 
bag of poison,
that most certainly 
guaranteed 
your demise from
this Earth, 
won the war.
Our family, 
so many of us and 
so close, 
your aunts and uncles, 
your cousins who were 
like siblings 
to you, could not love 
you enough
to make you stop.
This battle lasted 8 long 
years. 
You; 26-years young, 
the golden boy with a 
big bright smile, 
blonde locks and beautiful
model-esque 
features. Your highly intelligent
brain, taken over by the devil, 
the temptation,
the craving more intense
than your next breath. 
A roller coaster ride filled 
with so many promises from
your mouth;
words of 
appeasement to especially
your loving mother, 
you played the game to 
its fullest,
the addiction,
decided the outcome. 
We never gave-up on you, 
Johnny, 
we held onto hope when 
you detoxed,
and visited you in Rehabs and 
Sober Houses praying that 
this would be 
your time, when the epiphany 
would happen,
you would surrender to this 
monster and 
become one of the few 
success stories. 
The circle of heartbreak 
continued as we 
saw you in the hospital 
after too many
overdoses, 
then watched you retreat to your
black hole, your 
room of darkness, 
the only welcomed guests
were your drugs, iPod and music, 
which became your best friends. 
Your mother, after many 
years of despair, 
heard the doorbell
ring on that cold February 
night at 1:30 am, 
her body shaking from 
what she already knew; 
her beloved son, her only child,
as the police scooped her up 
and hugged her while she
fell towards the ground 
with unimaginable grief.
She screamed, “Noooooo!!!!”
She will do her best to 
continue; 
her life sentence of 
unbearable and unfathomable 
heartache.
She tells us that she
wants to go to sleep and 
never wake-up, the anguish
too hard as she bleeds.
Your big family 
now broken-hearted, 
our lives will never be as sweet,
the link to our family 
chain is now broken,
as you live in the perpetuity 
of eternal life,
we shall struggle for the 
rest of our days here,
and always wonder if we 
could have done more;
even though the reality of it is; 
we all did too much,
but it was just not enough.
© Linda Balboni 2017