Brother, Brother

We just have that kind of relationship where…where we help each other from the things that have haunted us both,

Te things that will not go away no matter how fast we run, whether together or pushing each other into the fire.

People don’t get it. I don’t blame them.

In some twisted way we’re closer than most, but also so, so distant

There’s so much driving us apart, but in a way, we gotta stick together

Hate, love, it’s all the same

It’s a struggle

People ask me what’s wrong with him

He’s been to so many doctors I have no idea

I stopped trying to keep track of it when I was small

I know there’s something wrong though

There has to be

But those rare times when he confesses to me his secrets, his problems, his dreams

Those rare times in the middle of the night, when you can see nothing except the faint glow of your phone and the flickering images of a muted tv

That’s the time I truly see him

And that’s the only time I can help him

But many times I cant, I cant because I’m asleep and I’m hoping he’s doing the same, so maybe he can get up in the morning, get up and be ready for the day, but I know he’s not

I know he’s up, not making trouble for anyone but himself, but the following morning will hurt everyone else

And so he’s always blamed

Is this what he’s doing wrong?

Unless you’ve talked to him past the witching hour, unless you’ve heard his secrets, problems, and dreams, you don’t know

Unless you’ve been PART of his secrets you don’t know

He’s got a rough life, I say

It’s not his fault

But when he’s happy I love it

I love it; I love it when I see his eyes shine with wonder, joy, pure ecstasy

Only you've never seen what happens when he's on ecstasy.

I tell people, he could do great things, he’s so smart

And he’s nicer than the rest of them; he has a kind soul and loving heart

But when he loves he loves hard and gets lost in passion and emotion

Except then sometimes, you see his bad side too

And watch out for that one

In the flip of a switch he can be dangerous, the sweet brown eyes suddenly burning,

Sometimes I want to scream and shout and throw things

It’s hard to keep track of it, though

I’ve tried to block out memories of pain and hurt and blame but what would be left?

None of my childhood

And as hard as I try to convince myself that it’s all better now and he is going to get better he is not and it is not and it is just all the same.

But hey, what do I do?

I guess I can only wait it out, be the stability for the dark hours past midnight, when his secrets, problems, and dreams come to haunt him.

It scares us both, but we survive.

We just have that kind of relationship.