Buried Teeth

how long should i be expected to sit here
and stew in the misery You’re perpetuating?
HOW LONG?
do tell me
what is an acceptable timeline for bullshit?
how do i get closure for an apparent issue
that was never really opened?

go ahead
square off with me
take Your gloves off
hit me with Your best 1-2 punch
and knock me out of Your life
but do it quickly
because this child’s game You’re playing
where You get angry and shut me out
completely 
is breaking my heart
rather than doing it in one foul swoop
You’re ripping me apart slowly
just one tiny tear at a time
if You think i cannot handle it…
You coming after me like a wolverine
and tearing me limb from limb
You’re right.  i can’t.
it would kill me
but at least it would be quick

instead i am dying in madness and agony
like a cancer
a cancer that is killing me slower than humanly possible
You have left me alone to mull over
every single thing i have ever done or said
to You
left me alone to wonder how many times i was wrong
versus all the times i have been right
a tally. a score of sorts.
of all my sins
against You
because that is what You’re doing to me right now
keeping a list of my indiscretions  
a list of every single time i didn’t do
or say
the right thing

you invalidate My emotions
My thoughts and My feelings
when you pretend they don’t exist
but even worse still
you invalidate Me
when you pretend I don’t exist either
so go ahead
bury your teeth deep within My flesh
take your pound from Me
like so many before you 
you deserve it and
I guess
so do I