Burned Bridges

I am struggling as I valiantly strive
To make some sense of my life
For some years now it's bee roll-a-coaster
and nothing like the adverts poster.

A blazing star turned my dreams to ash
for a while, life soared, then in a flash
I am middle aged and very lonely
And my mid keeps chanting 'if only'..

I learned a lot, some worth sharing
Never leave your heart to someone else's caring
Keep most of your self in reserve,
If you wish your sanity to preserve.

On the road of life, do not wander,
the dangerous path over yonder
When you realize you're lost and try to return
you find your family at a bridge they burn

And you stand and look at the great divide
you realize you you will never stand on the other side
And you pray for the strength to get off your knees
You cant handle the pity in their eyes you see 

As you struggle with the dignity you have lost
You turn to a friend to help count the cost
Only to find you have lost them too
you would never betray them in the way they did you

So now we smile and nod like strangers
All polite and but wary of the dangers
of discussing the 'Nellie in the room'
And find I'm more lonely than the man on the moon.