Death by me

It is cold as night
The day has run out of sun
My brain is numb in thought
I am lost in the dark
My heart dark inside
I hear it beat inside my chest
So loud I want it all to stop
My thoughts screaming away
How do I make it all stop?
Just make it all go away
I am at my wits end
I don't want to talk
They yell at me all day long
I have to take those meds a lot
No clue why they even help
Seeing they are not helping
Depending on sanity through a pill
One that once stops I know
I can't believe I thought
I can make this all go away
Yet nobody sees it at all
I can make it all go away
Just ending all my pain
It is ok for me to hurt
Just live in anxious thought
To never know when the emotion
Will overthrough my balance
No one seems to care
How I am doing inside
How do I live with them
The heart strings I had 
Pulled taught as can be
Just make it end already
I have the power with me
Yet I am too selfish you see
To make it better for me
At least that is how they will see