The End as I know it

I woke up today a beautiful wife and mom
Happy as can be even through the rough patches our decade brought
We were still happy inside my world of lies 
I thought I knew
I thought we could believe
Then as kind as can be I ask him to rest before coming home to me.
Only it was sex not with me that was exciting to be
Claims it never was done
I been as open as can be
Only to be hurt to the core of death
The blade ran deep to bleed me to sleep
Then cries cry the baby kept me alive
My soul is dead
His desires aren't mine 
Nothing I feel is valid inside
I know it's my end
I know he wants to control
Yet if I leave I won't be missed
13 years and I won't be anything but the psycho he chose to have kids with
No let her memory die
So he can move on 
And take away my family from his crazy bitch of a wife 
The one who thought loyalty was deserved 
cause she loved him inside