Calamity

Virtue
 
its a dirty word
 
just like grammar
 
they never taught us
 
how to be
 
loyal
 
the importance of
 
trust
 
i never could keep it
 
secret
 
hopeless at hiding
 
others shame
 
and now
 
my livelihoods at stake
 
none to share this with
 
taboos remain
 
valid fears
 
my dignity
 
my honour
 
things i didnt think
 
i had
 
now fragile
 
now in jepoardy
 
my confidence shattered
 
life
 
a masquerade
 
after all
 
learning to wear a mask
 
make up hides tattooed tears
 
this fool must perform
 
the film reel roll
 
hoping for just
 
the right amount
 
of exposure
 
cause
 
were i to bleech
 
to blink
 
theyre sure to lynch
 
my career
 
my affectionate joys
 
those simple moments
 
i took for granted
 
a warm smile
 
a warmer hug
 
a kind word
 
treasures i didn't notice
 
had a price

and i had the capital
 
but blew it
 
now i feel fake
 
but what else can i do
 
perhaps a few
 
would understand
 
would empathise
 
still hold my hand
 
it dont seem fair
 
but how else to walk
 
other than that i
 
never speak of it
 
until my covers blown
 
and i loose it all
 
the love
 
the hope
 
my comfort zone
 
and the loop replays:
 
they never taught us
 
how to be
 
loyal
 
and now
 
theres no way to trust
 
i just have to keep
 
my mouth
 
shut