CANDLE'S SILHOUETTE (Exodus of a Fathers Love for God)

CANDLE'S SILHOUETTE

Exodus of a Fathers Love for God

Ricardo Antonio Garcia

Into the night as the candle burns

I see a silhouette

on the wall of a poet who is me

and the many layers of what I’ve become.

People respect the Poet

but don’t

really know the furnace inside of me

propelling the fury and the anx of my life.

Yes, I’ve touched God

In this place where I live with Him daily

and guided by His Staff I am.

Gazing

into the candles light I see my mistakes

although it has led me here

the Holy Grail

is now before me, and I have climbed

the mountain.

Into the night

as the Stars shimmer bright

I think

of the legacy of grown men and women

who were once my Wives

and once

my children of so long ago.

The travesty

of my life had been a train ride

from Coney Island to the Bronx

a never ending

stop that locked me in time.

I lost 

the platforms and the signs

after my grandparents died

and left me to ride

the simple memories of our days.

The silhouette on the wall

is a perfect stranger to me and what I am.

Lost no more, God is in my place.

Into the past

I will not go because it defies me

and families

of potential times are gone

erased

from the cradle of my existence forever.

Always feeling misunderstood

or fragmented

by them not even knowing me

I filled the years with words.

I filled my heart

with the unanswered echoes

and smiles I never did see.

Apart from everything and everyone

I planted seeds

in a moist ground giving birth

to who I am today.

When I think

of all I lost and all I gained

I thank God for Saving me.

Casting all

the illusions away and filling me

with the integrity of His Spirit

I followed

the Lamb of my God to my destiny

and here

in the lair of His Love

He did not hurt me and He healed me.

So, as I ponder

my silhouette and the pages

I have become a great Poet

giving a piece

of myself to the wayfaring mind

lost

in the contusions of this World

where suffrages abound.

I see not a Father

or Mother but the eyes of God

watching

every step that I made

never judging

but vigilant in what He taught me.

To my children

who will always be my unknown children

think

of your Father as an explorer

who finally found

the Holy Grail and riddle to life.

Who understands

the purpose of his life

at the loss

and degradation of our time together.

Would I do this again?

Yes.

I love my God more than I love myself.

And in this tapestry-

I did give you the eyes in your head- to see …

… raised by responsible parents …

you all fulfilled your purposeful destiny, while I …

… found God in the heart of me.

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