Catastrophic Cries

A smile that hides the pain
Is always seen on my face
A laugh that is so fake
It makes me sick
If only you knew
What's going on in my mind
Maybe you could help
But I can't explain what's wrong
Not even to myself
It's hurts my mental state
And it breaks me down
Piece by piece
Day by day
Wishing that it would all end
I see so many things around me
That could cause me harm
Scissors, knives, razorblades
But I could never do it
I'll have to live with this pain forever
This living Hell
This nightmare
That I can never wake up from
I don't see any reasons for me to carry on
To be here right this second
But something keeps me going
But I have no clue what it is
Maybe one day I'll open up
And maybe one day you'll understand
But I doubt that will ever happen
I doubt anything good will come from this
Since my life is one big curse
And I'm a walking catastrophe