Cause of Death

Writing for an hour a day will keep the doctor away, and by doctor I mean for mental health, because god knows if I dont get these thoughts out I'll lose my self, i cant let that happen again, I refuse to let my depression win, if I let go I'll just be another number on a chart, police coming in with a black bag, they will zip me up and take me to the next stop, my lifeless body in the morgue with nothing on but a toe tag, cause of death, fuck where do we start, maybe it was the childhood trauma, or all the high school "she's gay" drama, maybe it was the rape when she was sixteen, or the one at 27 but we won't go there, she doesn't remember that night, so no one will care, maybe c.o.d. was a broken heart, look at the cuts on her wrists, that's where this autopsy will start, she was clearly mentally unstable, she did commit suicide after all, but there has to be a reason why, why is she on my table, she was only 28 was life really that bad, I mean to kill yourself in this manner you must be more than just sad, so what was it that caused you so much pain, maybe c.o.d. was the bullet that grazed her brain? No, couldn't be, it didnt hit anything vital, what was wrong with this woman, if I had to label her anything, insane would be her title, but a manic depressant according to her medical history, with all of these healed wounds, I guess it makes sense, the reasoning behind it all though shall remain a mystery, fuck it I've wasted too much time, I'm done here, c.o.d. is a severed radial artery, less than two minutes of suffering, now as I finish these papers, may you finally rest in peace my dear.