Child Bride

I am at Druid’s Bar
on 11th Ave. and 50th St. in NYC.
I say to one of the older teachers,
“You think I'm smart for a young guy?”
Thomas Aquinas Shea
with dry Irish wit says, 
“I hate to break it to you James,
but you are middle-aged.”
 
My wife is also having trouble
accepting she is middle aged.
 
My wife and I visit a couple I went to
college with in Nyack NY. 
We meet at the Danbury Mall
at the Cheesecake Factory.
 
When the ladies go to the bathroom
Doug says,  “Wow,  how young is your wife?”
I say,  “She is 8 years younger than me.
He says,  “Wow, Filipinas age well.

At Yesterdays Bar in Warwick NY,
the over cautious bar maid refuses
to serve Helen who forgot I.D. to 
prove she is in her 40's.
 
At a garage sale in NJ, 
as Helen and I look at bicycles,
an old woman says to us,
“Your daughter is beautiful!”
I say,  “First,  she is my wife.
Secondly,  she is middle aged.”
 
I am not 55 year old
Professor Hubert Humphrey
stalking 12 year old Lolita.
 
I am not 84 year old
James Howard Marshall
marrying  a 24 year old
Anna Nicole Smith.
 
I did not marry a girl.
I am not a cradle robber.
I did not marry someone 30 years my junior,
 
     and
     unlike
     Hubert
     or
     James,
 
             I am neither a professor
 
              nor a millionaire.