Closure
Listen before you go,
And leave me for a long time,
I want to tell you something.
I need to say goodbye.
I need closure of this chapter.
If you go before we say goodbye,
I can never close the book,
Of you and I.
Trust me when I say,
That this is not a trick,
For me to get you,
To fall into love with me.
I simply want to thank you,
For the love that you gave me.
I didn’t deserve to feel that.
I didn’t deserve you.
Do you know,
You are the best thing,
That ever happened to me?
Thank you for that.
I know it’s hard
For us to talk right now.
But after everything we’ve been through,
“Us” deserves a proper ending.
I know we’re not ok right now.
But after time I believe that we will be.
We could look each other in the eye again.
Maybe we could smile again.
It will get better.
I don’t know when.
I don’t know how.
I just know that it will.
My dearest love,
Thank you for you.
I’m going to say goodbye now.
And then I’ll go.
Feline,
You're important to me.
And it's important for me that you hear this.
Please listen before you go.
I love you.
Goodbye.
(The name "Feline" that I used, is not the actual name of the person I'm writing about. I used a similar name to hers for her privacy, even though she'll probably never read this :) )Â
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Comments
I went through similar feelings and emotions through my last breakup , what I realized is I relied to much on her to try to make me happy than ever realizing or understanding that I had to be able to make myself happy before anyone else could . I sense a little of this through your cries for her being the best thing that happened to you and then you also stating you weren’t deserving of her  .... well if she really was and I believe you then why do you not feel deserving ? Don’t we all deserve the best ? If we feel we don’t then we may need some heavy self reflecting .....  I went through these same thoughts , questions and self searching and realized it wasn’t me that made me feel undeserving but rather things from the past that I didn’t deal with but rather ran from .Â
This is just my opinion but I felt the need to share with hopes it might be helpful , good-luck and stay strong .Â
Heartfelt writeÂ
This is helpful :)Â I think you're right. I just need to convince myself of what you're saying and I need to put it to work, which is a hard thing to do. But i believe that I'm getting there. Even though it's a very slow process. Thank you.
It’s been 8 months for me and spending Christmas alone and going insane ....... through poetry and support on here I was able to find the strength to work on myself and the changes are so worth the struggles and battles . My biggest motivator was .... if we don’t fix ourselves now then how many more heartbreaks do we endure before we are forced too . We can’t expect others to fix us and we shouldn’t expect someone to accept us broken , let your future love be the motivation for you will be so strong you won’t ever have to fear losing them at your own hands . It is equally important to find someone who is equally of sound mind though because just as no one else can make us happy if we aren’t from within well we can’t make them happy if they aren’t with themself . We must find beauty from pain and self love and growth is the only positive outcome from a loss like you have endured .Â
You're right. If I'm reading this right, you're saying that I shouldn't rely on somebody else to make me happy, that I am the only one who can truly make myself happy. And I shouldn't "stay broken". I'm going to work on this. It's not the first time that I sort of got my heart broken. But this time is way heavier than before, and maybe that really is because I did rely on her to "make" me happy. She really fully was my happiness. My entire happiness.Â
Thanks for putting this in perspective for me.
Yes exactly and  I’m not calling you “ broken “ but rather saying work on what you know you need to , to make yourself happy .Â
My ex was my happiness just like you are saying about yours so I totally get what you are going through , I’m not comparing as each relationship is unique . But our goal before getting into another relationship should be to be comfortable in our own skin otherwise our relationships are just distractions and then we get crushed when we are alone :/Â
I’m so grateful you found this helpful, all my lessons were trial and error .Â