CLOTH TRIMMED BOX (get your hanky ready)

A bright flash
blinds his eyes
the sound of the horn
takes him by surprise
his bike starts to wobble
CRASH!
Over he topples
The screech of brakes
fill the air
People turn and stare
the boy lies lifeless
He has no air
Blood on his face
And mattered hair
Skin opaque
Null of colour
Life extinguished
Pulse relinquished
Body contorted
Eye’s distorted
His life thwarted
In a little wooden box
lies her greatest treasure
A priceless gem
worth can't be measured
In a little wooden box
There's a pair of shoes
A special gift
he wore for school
She wants to run to it
she wants to look inside
But she can only sit
and stare wide eyed
with tears streaming
they sting her eyes
There's someone talking
she can't hear
her body numb
she feels quite queer
There's music playing
soft somewhere
as to where
she is unaware
her mind his locked
eyes fixated
on that little wooden box
In a little wooden box
There's a pair of glasses
They're custom made
In the latest fashion
D&G runs down the side
Behind the lenses
Closed eyes lie
In a little wooden box
Is a little silk red tie
she made it herself
for her special guy
Her husband helps her
onto shaky feet
Trying to stand
is quite a feat
But slowly she rises
And moves her feet
He holds her tight
close to his chest
with how she wobbles
it's probably for the best
as they take a slow walk
towards that little wooden chest
Her heart starts to beat
She starts to perspire
Inside her chest
Her lungs feel as though
They are on fire
But still she continues
on with her walk
even though
she is breathless
and cannot talk
They reach the end
then stare into the box
Made from fine oak
and trimmed in fine cloth
Brass handles hang of the side
A picture of Thomas
Lies by his side
The vision presented
brings more tears to her eyes
she can’t hold them back
and tears stream
from her eyes
Just ten years old
in his young prime
dressed to the nines
pin striped suit
silk red tie
Riding home
knocked of his bike
no lights
6 pm Saturday night
Took the back roads
in the midst of the night
In that little wooden box
she brushes down his suit
takes her sleeve
And cleans his shoes
straightens his glasses
his silk tie too
kisses his head
like she did before
but this time she wont
be closing no bedroom door
In that little wooden box
lies her greatest treasure
A priceless gem
worth can't be measured
The door opens
everybody turns
a man stands in the doorway
angry faces stare back
He takes a seat right at the back
with a bunch of flowers
sat on his lap
He puts his head into his hands
But he is not napping
his eyes wield his guilt
he’s the reason
this little boy
lies dead in his
pin striped suit
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Comments
Hi Jeff,
This piece is so heart wrenching and so sad. I certainly know the pain of loss as I lost my eldest son to cancer in 2009 aged 31, so I know how hard it is to live without the most precious thing in life, that of one of our children. Parents aren`t supposed to out-live their children are they?! it just doesn`t make sense and that pain never goes away. You have written this piece so beautifully and your readers can feel the pain through your beautiful words. Well done honey you are very talented.
God bless
G xx
Wow Georgina, i wasn't expecting that sort of a response but i'll gladly take it.
thanks so much for taking the time to read and humbly express my gratitude for also commenting.
thank you
Jeff
Hi Georgina. I read the comments or should i say quickly scanned as i was at work. I have just re read them and feel so ashamed that i did say sorry for your loss, for this im truly sorry.
Hi Jeff, this is very sad indeed. Losing a son that way is heartbreaking. You got me crying. I enjoyed the flow of words though. Nice one Jeff.
Lots of love...Rose
Ah rose told you to that hanky ready. thanks for reading and commenting
Cheers jeff
This is AMAZING JEFF!!...... glad you pointed me here...... the images from stanza to stanza are absolutely breathtaking and delivered with such poetic grace that you can't help get teary eyed...... the ending is profoundly moving.......I felt as though I had just seen a short film it was SO engrossing...... excellent word choices and incredible phrasing...... you are gifted writer my friend........ wow!!......ALL STARS.......smokin' grooves bro!!....smokin' ass grooves!!.......LOVE and ROCKETS!!........T xo
WOW!!!! now that's how you write a review lol thanks so much Tony for you kind words
cheers jeff
Hello Jeff...
Memories flashed back to some of my own very close calls...
One flashed even brighter...
The day I watched my little girl almost get run over by a woman driving an ice cream truck...
My daughter had her ice cream in her hand and she hadn't had a chance to open it yet...
The driver was so rude and it was her fault...
This was the first time I actually saw people yell at the driver...
The driver was even rude to them...
They told the driver not to come back...
She came back three days in a row...
No one on our side of the block felt safe buying an ice cream from her...
They said next time she will run over one of our kids on purpose...
She never came back to our neighborhood after that...
Too many children lay in those cloth trimmed boxes...
Very sad!
Great write !
Thank you for sharing...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
there are some vile people in this world, with vile foul mouths i'm glad your not one of them and say the nicest words on your reviews
thanks Jeff
Jeff, this is a very powerful piece of writing here my friend, had to tell myself that it's just a poem, a difficult story to look at from the outside, very sad but beautifully framed... your story telling is oh so compelling, made this tale come off very real, not sure what inspired this one but I felt it....your style reminds me a bit of Robert Service... precision in construction, touching the right places.... this is very good, and highly emotional... thanks for the heads up, cheers
Hi my friend
I was sat one day at work and a lad on a scooter was narrowly missed by a car he wobbled firva while and i thought he was going to come off. But i didnt think that would make a compelling poem so after a bit of word play. I came up with this. I wanted the poem to have that much of an impact that it either made the reader cry or at least draw a lump in the throat.I try and write with realism to make the biggest impact i can just like i did with
Let them call here home. But i do write nice ones like the boy of seven about a boy who is awake on christmas eve and sees santa.
Thanks for reading my friend and the compelling review
lol, very cool explanation... and I think you're right about 'making an impact', so true, anyway it turned out great, whatever the inspiration....cheers
So sad.
Hi kimmy thanks for taking the time to read and comment
Cheers jeff