CLOTH TRIMMED BOX PART II

The service ends 
She kisses his nose 
Lays a single red rose 
On his chest 
Just under his nose 

The casket is closed 
She knows all  too well 
She will not see him again 
Her eyes start to well 

She rushes forward 
Her tears grace his box 
They run down the sides 
as she clutches the box 

Memories flood into her brain 
Reliving the past 
Only causes more pain 
She remembers the time they 
Took a trip on the train 
Ate candy floss as it started to rain 
Memories of past
she longs to remain

Slowly but surely her fingers relax
she slowly stands then takes her seat 
but this one memory plays on repeat 

It was of the day the night took him away 
they laughed and joked 
she said something funny 
that made him choke on his coke 
she remembers  the last time he put on his coat 
her throat starts to bloat 
from the lump that starts to swell within 
she remembers the cards he kept in a tin 
and how he always played to win

She remembers his cheeky grin 
the feeling of warmth 
as she cuddled up to his skin
but she knows he’s no longer warm 
more like a snowman 
that’s begun to thaw 
just as her tear drops
lye on the floor 

The pole bearers lift him into the air 
family and friends stand and stare 
then leave their chairs 
and follow the casket 
into the days air
until they reach his plot 
then all stop
watching with misty eyes 
as he’s slowly lowered
into his plot  

She takes some soil throws it on top 
telling her son “this is for luck” 
she remembers the time 
he came home covered in mud 
she remembers wiping his blood 
from where someone had caught him with his stud
as she throws that last handful of mud 

A few hours later she’s sat at the wake 
In front of her sits an empty plate 
Her stomach growls 
But she doesn’t eat 
Her body weary 
Her mind bleak 

“Excuse me”
A voice says from behind 

“I’m sorry for your loss, 
I just didn’t see your son
Josh 
He came out of nowhere 
He had no lights 
And by accident my car 
hit his bike, 
For this I am sorry 
But I have to live with the guilt 
For many nights 
I’ve tossed in my quilt  
I haven’t slept for many nights 
Because every time I close my eyes 
I see the light fade from his yes 
Please forgive me”
He begins to cry 

She looks him up then down 
Tuts then spits on to the ground 

“How dare you come to pay your respects 
You this poor man 
Who saw my son dead, 
How dare you even speak his name 
You’re not worthy 
To mention his name 
I’ll never forgive you 
You are to blame 
I damn you to hell 
And I’ll fan the flames"

The man turns and leaves 
He wanted forgiveness 
But he was met with abuse 
From a mother that had lost her son

The man returns home 
Tries to sleep 
But his mind still roams 
With the vision that plays in his head 
The vision of boy lying lifeless, 
Dead.