COMPASSION

Chapter 35

I'm Not Dead
 
Joe Havard is having another sleepless night. He tosses and turns and finally falls into a deep sleep. He has been waiting for some sign his Mother is alive and well in the Spirit World. Joe experiences a most unusual Vivid Dream.
 
He finds himself on a wooden porch in the middle of a sunny day. He sees a young woman sitting on a porch rail dressed in a white dress. Joe walks towards the women and he recognizes her as his Mother when she was in her mid-twenties. Joe knows he is dreaming but speaks to his Mother and can hear his voice ask, “Ma, I thought you were dead?”
 
Mom replies, “I am not dead. I was on the table and he started to do the embalming on me so I got off the table and came here.”
 
Joe sits up in his bed realizing he had just seen and spoke to his Mother. He tells himself, “ Oh my God that was Mom!”  Joe is so confused he grabs his tablet and starts writing a poem. Joe drops his tablet and falls back to sleep.
 
Joe has written all summer long in College Library’s, park benches and at his desk at work.  Hallucinations and the verbal and physical fights between him and his brother have become like a dark, bizarre sudden violence is the norm. He even starts referring to himself as the character in his screenplay Joe Adams. The one constant thing is his obsession with Sandy. He is determined to see her one more time and ask her to join him as a co-writer or ask for his release.
 
Finally, September arrives and Joe is again at the dentist for his three-month cleaning. He waits patiently for Sandy to come out to lead him back to the room for his cleaning. A new dental hygienist greets Joe and asks him to follow her back to the chair. She introduces herself as Tracy and she will do Joe’ s cleaning for today.
 
Joe asks, “Where’s Sandy?”
 
 Tracy replies, “The Doctor will talk to you about her after the cleaning.”
 
Tracy starts her cleaning and finishes quickly. Joe gets the impression she does not want to be in the same room as him so he sits quietly until she finishes. Tracy leaves the room after the cleaning and Doctor Habit enters and greets Joe. 
 
“Hello, Mr. Havard.”
 
“Hello, Doctor.”
 
“Sandy has advised me she does not want to be your dental hygienist anymore.”
 
“Doctor I apologize for my behavior but I became attracted to her. I know I should not have dropped off that binder with all those letters written to her but I had to.”
 
“Yes, when you dropped off the binder with the letters to her she became afraid of you.”
 
“Doctor if I could just see her one more time I need her to release me. Just like the song says. Please release me...Doc I need your help. I cannot stop thinking of her. This is no joke. I do not know what to do.”
 
Dr, Habit tells Joe, “I do not think that is a good idea.”
 
“Doc please I have to see her the next time I am here. If she does not release me I will be haunted by her the rest of my life!”
 
The Doctor tells Joe, “If you want to break your obsession with Sandy is find another girl. When you do that you will forget all about her.”
 
“Doctor I can only tell you how I feel. I know she is not interested in me but I need to hear her in her own words tell me she is not interested. I don’t want to bother anyone but you have no idea the pull this girl has. Can you let me see her one more time.”
 
“I will schedule you for a cleaning in December. I will talk to Sandy to see if she will do one more cleaning.”
 
“Thanks, Doctor I give you my word once she releases me you will never see me again.”
 
Joe leaves the office.  
 
Joe is sitting in the Kings College Library writing the final pages to his of his literary masterpiece. He writes at Wilkes College one weekend then he writes at King’s College Library the following weekend. He carries a black briefcase filled with his manuscript. He does not know if he has an uncontrolled collection of written events in his life. All he knows is he has to move this body of hand written material into an organized play, novel, screenplay or something. If he doesn't get these writings into an organized format he will always be another mentally ill guy wandering in the park.

He will talk to Roberta Monday at work and ask her if she agrees to type this written material he will pay her one dollar per page. He will title his work “Mama’s Boy if it will be a drama or I was run over by a Blonde Freight Train if it will be a dark comedy.”
 
Joe knows he will have one final meeting with Sandy in three weeks and he will have to have a completed typed the first draft of his entertainment project. He will offer Sandy one more chance to join him as
co-writer of this project.
 
It is Monday morning of Thanksgiving week and Joe approaches Roberta the Sales Secretary with his black briefcase.
 
Roberta senses work is coming her way and asks Joe, “What’s in the briefcase?”
 
“Roberta I have been writing a personal diary the last several months and I want to hire someone to type it up for me. I will pay one dollar per page. Would you be willing to type this up for me?”
 
“How many pages do you have?”
 
Joe replies, “ I do not know. Maybe 700 pages.”
 
Roberta takes the briefcase and starts to leaf through the papers.  “A woman writes in a diary. A man writes in a journal. Let me take this home tonight and I will see if I can read it and I will give you my answer tomorrow.”
 
“Thanks, Roberta. I am in no hurry to get it typed.”  Joe goes back to his desk on cloud nine. Once he gets this typed it will only be a matter of time before he is discovered by Hollywood and then Sandy will have to agree to go out with him.
 
Roberta tells Joe the next morning at work she will type his journal but it could take a month to finish it. Joe thanks her and is filled with a sense of accomplishment because this is the first time someone is treating his work seriously. This first step moves him out of the public park and he is no longer a man who just writes his mind on paper. Now he is a man who writes his mind on paper but this time his words will be typed. This is a small but important step for Joe in his writing career
 
Joe decides not to do any more writing until Roberta finishes her typing of his journal. Instead, he concentrates on his meeting with Sandy only weeks away. He will show Sandy his typed journal and ask her again if she will join him in turning it into a movie screenplay or novel. Joe feels she is so attractive she could sell his written work of art.
 
The days pass quickly and Roberta tells’s Joe she has finished
typing his journal. She hands him the black briefcase with the original yellow hand written pages and the 128 typed page journal.
 
“I am all done,”  Roberta tells Joe.
 
“Roberta thank you very much. I will go to the bank at lunch time and withdraw the cash and pay you after lunch.”  Joe takes his briefcase back to his desk and carefully take out his typed manuscript. He holds the stack of fresh typed papers as it was a newborn baby.
 
To Joe these pages are his baby and the crudely written story inside is very ugly but it is Joe’s ugly baby. To a parent, there are no ugly babies. Joe returns after lunch with a  huge smile for  Roberta and hands her the money.
 
“Thanks again Roberta. You have no idea how much this means to me. Thanks for taking care of my baby.”
 
Roberta replies, “You take good care of your baby.”