Confused

Whirlwind of emotions  swirling in my heart
Shards of love
Shards of pain
Shards of deception
Conviction in my heart is it well founded?
Why should I trust?
Why should I love?
What rationalization should  be granted for my devotion?
Yearning for enjoyment and freedom
Will I achieve it?
Revelations shall be revealed in the future
Anticipating justifications  of my merits