Cruel world

The suffocation becomes the norm 
Darkness becomes your friend
Nothing but thought after thought 
As u reflect alone again.

The comments people express getin' t me
I laugh and joke along to front it.
Behind my eyes a weakness within me
Smiling and riding long with it.

True to myself im close to sumin deep
Grieving and not sure how I feel neither
Wont open up to ghosts that creep 
Wont welcome them in either.

I feel it though I feel it all
Every last emotion draining me to empty
Every time I try to have fun or try at all
Jus feel wanted or cuddled not lonely 

Behaving like a twat, getting a stupid rep
Feeling free then guilty next 
Wondering why I portray myself b a sket
I'm not like that less im on some next vex 

I'm scaring myself I feel low
Self harm minimal for me
Just to take the edge of the blows
And the mixed feelings inside a me.