Curiosity Of Self Love

As I sit here debating on what I want to write, 
I feel my eyes water and my stomach become tight,
I think I've so much to say that I cannot find the words, 
I try to get in to my head but my vision becomes blurred.

I pause for a moment, to take a breath,
Wondering about all the secrets I've kept. 
For once I want to be honest,
For once I want to be free, 
I want to sit content knowing I'm fully me. 

They say self love is the greatest, 
Something to me that is quite new, 
I smile because I know better than struggles I've faced in the past,
Now I can confidently say, Hard times do not last. 

I laugh now when someone says I can't do it,
I laugh when someone says I'm lying, 
Because I've over came the fact,
Of the inside of me dying. 

There is something that I strongly live by,
I don't care if others agree,
They say time heals everything,
Well the truth will set you free.

I wrote this poem not understanding the meaning,
The reason for me to begin to write, 
The passion burning inside,
Was some form of new light.

I realised now that I need to speak,
About all the times I have been weak,
All the times I've said no, 
And furtur back is where I'd go.

I wrote the first paragraph thinking of love,
Love from an angel sent from above.
Love I have wanted from someone other then me,
But reality is something I struggled to see. 

I see now, the truth in what I say, 
The truth in remembering tomorrow is another day,
The truth in remembering that when all faith is lost, 
To give yourself a smile & put your soul on defrost.