d e f e c t i v e

Mirror, I hate the girl that looks back at me
When I am forced to look at her she deeply saddens me 
Alone with my thoughts I feel so truly lost
How did I become the girl no one wants..?
I thought I was special I thought I was enough
I used to be so happy I used to feel loved
I know I'm not that important I just want to be seen
I try only to be kind and treat others as I'd want to be
Everyone comes before me and I don't mind coming last
But I'm starting to feel invisible I'm losing my self fast
I stare into the distance imagining what it would be like 
to really be somebody's everything and come first one time 
I don't want to burden I don't want to intrude
Don't mean to be awkward I don't mean to seem rude
I'm mostly quiet I'm used to not being heard
It's ok, don't worry, I'm sorry, are my most uttered words 
They don't remember I'm even there or that it's my turn
And I can see that they're tired of my presence in their space 
The look of indifference is written all over their face
She's so annoying  she's boring  she's lame..
Remember how they used to flock to her like a moth to the flame
My mother sees me fading and she checks on me every moment everyday 
I can't break her heart   so I tell her everything is ok