Dave The Knight

The bold knight Dave had drunk a few.

The booze was flowing free.

With sword and shield and flagon of beer.

He sought to challenge me.
 

Now,I told this knight, I warned him true.

I said he'd drunk too much,

To challenge me in this drunken state I would kick him in to touch.

Now Dave, you see was a drunken lout.

Who wanted to fight the world.

He's a silly sod, a bit of a div, he liked to scream and shout.

He swung a punch and a kick or two, but they all missed their mark.

I had warned the fool in his drunken state, he had no bite, just bark.

I parried his moves, the blows all missed and then what came to pass.

I took his shield and then his sword and I put him on his arse.
 

Now Dave you see, was a nasty sod and hated fair fight rules.

He called my name, and I turned around, and he kicked me in the balls.

I cursed and screamed ( in honesty I really shed a tear).

This silly git he mistook my noise as if I was in fear.

Now cheating's good, (well if it's done by me.) But this hairy git he took the piss and smashed me in the jewels.

Now I'm mad as hell, the rule book's gone, so sod the Queensbury rules.

I hit him hard in between the eyes, I thought he'd throw a fit.

But twas not the case, his legs gave out and he landed in the Shit.