The Baby

Who are these faces looking down on me?
I need my time, I need my space, I want my privacy.
not holding my fingers or tickling my toes.
One old fart even grabbed my bloody nose.

“Oh look he’s smiling, he’s a happy little thing”
No,I’m not I need to burp and it’s really does quite sting.
Here’s my fave, The kind one, who calls herself my mummy
She rubs my back kisses my cheek and then she strokes my tummy.

But people come and make such fuss
Why not just look? do you really have to touch?
Pick me up, put me down, I think I’m gonna spew
the next one that does it going to aim all over you!

Let me sleep, just leave me be you’re a pain right in my arse.
I need my rest I need my sleep not this bloody not this farce.
I can feel the pain, it travels down finally in my belly
get ready for this one I’m warning, it’s going to be smelly.

The one that’s called daddy, he’s looking around for help
By the time I’ve finished here I’ll make that sucker yelp.
Mummy fed me from her mountains (they were a pleasant hit)
I’ve had my belly filled now and I’ve just had a massive shit

Daddy’s quite a weakling but he has more to do
I’ll wait for him to lift my legs and do another poo!
I think I’ve beaten daddy his face has turned bright green
all the noise that he is making is really quite obscene.

I hear the daddy moaning “What does that baby eat?
Well I’ll tell you this, my father. I’ve had a tasty treat.
You can blame my mummy dearest for your lovely gift
But Don’t you worry daddy. It’s near the night time shift