DE fcn Pressed

I’m fucking screaming inside
I’m crying out loud
I’m dying outside
But yet I have to smile
I have to laugh I have to work 
I have to be the big person with
The corny jokes
I’m staring at myself 
And the mirrors empty
I hate my look
I can’t stand what’s in me 
I’m dying inside
It’s so dark
At least the poetry I wrote before had a spark
I lost my touch
I lost my voice 
I feel like zombie
Going through a course
No energy to wake up
No care in the world
Deja got lost
So I’m just this lost girl 
I stare at the walls blank face so I seem alive
But inside my head all I do is fucking cry 
I want to do is die everyday but I don’t have the courage to
If you ever was my opp
I’m not even mad at you 
Straight path don’t know what to do 
Friends love me
I love you too
But I think about cutting my throat in the dark fuck a wrist 
You wouldn’t understand dude
I wound write a suicide note
I wouldn’t call 911 for help
I would run me a bath be quiet 
And thank God I left this self