dear boys of the future

I can bite your lip all I want
but it does not mean
you have made me
hungry.
It means I am looking for a boy inside you,
and he is not there,
and so I will take anything.
(You are not what I'm craving.)
I will stay for a little while,
lay like a broken doll in your arms.
When you look at me and see your past,
present,
and future,
I see him.

I am so sorry
that I won't ever want you.
I'm sorry you will become nothing
but a mistake.
I'm sorry you aren't him,
because if you were
(in a perfect world...)
then you might just get to
keep me.
Most of all,
I'm sorry I am still his
     (even when
     I am not.)