THE BERTY AND GERTY SHOW !! = " DECK CHAIRS !! "

" Eeh our Gerty!! its just past chuffin Christmas!                        

But telly`s just full ar adverts, for all them there foriegn places!

Where the eck do they think the bloody money comes from?

Ya bloody present cost me a soddin bomb!! "

" Yee Gods!!... our Berty! ya only got me bloody one!!

Oh but I`d love to go to somehwere like Barbados !

Or any of them there places with an `OS` me duck!

Or maybe Spain just so we can av a look. "

" What about the Moon! or bloody Timbucktoo!!?

Ya think I`m made a flippin money! you!! "

" Well even bloody Bradford would be a flippin change!!

Mind!! we`d av ta put up with a lot a chuffin rain!! "

" Eeh our Gerty! can ya remember our honeymoon in Blackpool and those chuffin deck chairs!!?

Deck is the right bloody name for em our lass!!

They ad me tied up in chuffin knots!!

I couldn`t even get em down the bloody stairs!! "

" Ooh it were funny me duck!!

I piddled mesell silly when ya got stuck!! "

" Aye... I ad ta go sideways with the bloody things!!

Can ya remember? Ooo... it still chuffin stings!! "

" Aye.... ya got all ya man bits in a right chuffin muddle!!

Spoiled me bloody honeymoon it did!!.... anyrode that was ya excuse!!!

But I laughed so much I made a chuffin puddle!! "

" Eeh our Gerty... but we did av a good time!!

I remember once!!... we even stayed out past half bloody nine!

So where are we goin to this year me duck?

We`ll av ta get some of them there books an av a look!! "

" Ooo.. I don`t know!... Skeggy, Rhyle or Mablethorpe maybe!

Somewhere nice by the sea!! "

" Eee... but get out of it!! it`s bloody cold over there!! our Gerty!! "

" Bloody ell !!! lets just stay at chuffin ome then our Berty !! "