Delusion

I am caught in a delusion, 
Reality and fiction have fused. 
Trust is something I don't have. 
Remaining alone and spiritually abused. 
Accusing the ones that do not show fate. 
Requiring my soul to show through. 
Hypocrisy so close I can't get away, 
It looks like there will be so few. 
My belief is weakened when it comes to others. 
Somewhere out there I will find my brothers. 
Returning to fear is no ones fault but mine. 
Just wanted to go on and have a good time. 
My thoughts are not my own, 
The delusion is not full grown. 
Undersanding will help I just need time, 
Reality is stronger than this delusion of mine. 
Did I return to a world of hate? 
How long will it take to open the way? 
Am I alone in this world I've created?