Demons of Depression

I was always in pain, but you asked me to stay, 
I was always sad but I hide it away, 
I kept going and loving and trying you see, 
cause I knew how much you needed me,
I'm sorry, I'm so Sorry, in the end I lost,
every day inside of me there was a war and it came at a cost,
I awoke every morning with a battle cry so I could face my internal strife, 
A valiant warrior fighting the demons of depression for my life.
I know you never saw the deep scares they left inside my soul,
I know I did a fantastic job of hiding the wounds and the gaping hole.
I picked the release of my pain and sorrow, cause I could not take another tomorrow.
I know I have left you confused, hurt and angry, and I hope one day you can forgive me.
I'm sorry my peace has cost you so much pain, if I could have won the war I would have done it all again.
I knew there was not one who could fix what was inside my body,
So all I can leave is this apology.
I had to play so many roles like an actor in a show, 
I had to be happy, bubbly, the life of the party and no one could ever know.
I hope it's remembered that I tried to give this life my best, 
Now my battles are over and I am sorry you have to suffer so I can finally be at rest.
I will send to you kisses upon your forehead as I finally feel whole, and maybe you can find it within you to forgive this tormented soul.

By: Xanthia dean