The Devil to pay

She dances back in my mind
the only woman I need and want.
Breathing fire hotter
than the whiskey on my throat.

She relights fire in my loins 
where it was burning 
all that time ago.
Still lay there as hot coals.
A Fire that has burned in me
before in many other lifetimes.

In my head old music plays
once shared with her.
Music of sadness 
that is still sugar sweet.

Drowning in the waters 
of her darkness
Caught in the memory 
of her kisses.

Living inside me 
the need of her, the desire.
Wound tighter than 
a clockwork spring.

The need that the love 
of the wife asleep upstairs.
relieves but cannot unwind.
The one that brings me here
in my shame.

I know one day
she will return for me.
To reclaim her birthright.
red lips and soft cleavage
that my demons want.

She has the key
the power to take me 
as she pleases.
She is my fate
my destiny 
my drug of choice.

And though I kneel
before you each day
as husband and 
father to our children.

You do not know
the truth of me..
When you reach to me
for my comfort.
And I take you in our bed.
It is the flecks of grey 
in her blue eyes I see.