Disappointment

When I see others
Doing their thing
People applauding
Everyone listening

I swallow panic down
Inside I drown
If only you could feel it
You'd have a breakdown

They're a reminder of what I could be
Of what my mind couldn't allow me to be
My mind controls me
And my body fails me

It's only time before
They chose them over me
Who would want to see
Me

I start shaking
But no one looks
My eyes start to water
But everyone's already gone

Why couldn't I be 
Someone to be proud of 
Why couldn't they see
I'm trying desperately