disposable

 
inside, i asked you to speak your mind 
and got no answer 
as expected, really 
since the you that sits at the back of my brain 
is usually silent 

and i asked you to tell me with your hands 
what you think of me 

push me, pinch me 
drag your nails along my self-esteem 
and leave me marks to be proud of, give me war paint 
give me scars 
do what you will to my body, take what you want 
from my words 

just leave my mind alone, leave it 
to process this all later 
after the blood has dried 
and the room is empty 
and i begin to feel full again 

i wanted you to tell me, but by accident 
that your mind is just like mine 
and i don't need to worry 
that when you open my body up 
my mind will unfold with it 
and you won't like what you see 

and so i distract you from my thoughts 
with the disposable skin that protects them 
from you