Poem -
DOORS + COLD FEET
The door is still a door
My feet are still feet
They walk back and forwards
Distributing heat
To floor tiles that care not
Of such trivials as cold but,
The door and I understand
We both shall grow old
And tired
Of dancing
The in and out dance
Closing to open on,
Nothing but chance
In and out, out and in
Cold feet and doors
To outsides and insides
To agains and befores
Whilst the floor tiles wear down
and care nothing of heat
Care nothing of doors or the
pacing of feet
Out and in, in and out
Agains and befores
Doors and cold feet till,
Some death god we meet
M P 21/10/21
Like 4 Pin it 1
Support CosmoFunnel.com
You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.
Comments
Aw heck blast right on through. Publish that book. 😊
Bless you John...thankyou my friend x
My goodness Miss MARION!!....you are amazingly creative...from title through to phrasing some truly unique ideas that surprise the reader with pure delight!!
~ "Cold feet and doors.."
~ "To agains and befores..."
ALL STARS!!......well penned dear poet sister!!......LOVE & ROCKETS!!.....T xo : )
Ah...you are always too kind Tony
I thank you X
an interesting post & one that has got me thinking .. some absolutely to die for lines and a couple of little things I would maybe tweak if it was my baby .. but it aint and I can certainly live with the 'but' at the end of the second line of the second stanza ... N :) x
Neville I can't thank you enough for taking the time....and also for the advice and constructive criticism...you are right, I mostly write instantaneously and actually only review and tweak maybe months later. That said, I doubt hardly anybody will get this unless at the time of reading they are in that exact same place of pacing...internally and externally for hours at a time...annoying the floor tiles, doors and cats 😬😬😀❤
I get'cha ❤ got'cha back too :)
This poem reads really well. Really well, it is like a dark Dr Zuess. Your skill is every bit as masterful. You have nailed this in everything — in form, in rhyme in meaning and in emotion. ''king brilliant xx
Aw thanks love...sorry for late reply and thankyou for taking the time xxx