Drowning

Life is like water, either you swim through it or you drown in it.
Through my childhood i was afraid of drowning but now Im always drowning. Trying to learn how to swim but fail over and over and over again.
Sometimes i manage to pretend how to swim, so i can blend in, drowning isn’t how you blend in.
The water is killing me and i just wish i could breathe, breathe and everything will be alright but you cant breathe while under the surface. The water gets me, the real me, not the pretend version that everybody want.
The water is silent and transparent just like me, i do not dare to speak my thoughts, the thoughts thats drowning me inside. I feel so invisible but at the same time so visible.
Now Im floating in the between, Why cant i swim, its not that difficult but yet it is that difficult, sooner or later Im dead, dead because i drowned in the water, in my thoughts, in my feelings that i can’t explain and in the eyes of those who thought i could swim, because i made them belive that i could.