Elf Off

I'm a multi-tasker

Santa's a harsh master

cracking his whip at every elf

doing nothing himself

One day I'm sorting letters

next escaping office fetters

rehearsing with the reindeer

they rarely get in third gear

Frustrated and anxious

spare time precious

broken toys to replace

or Santa's wrath I face

Last year I got into the spirit

stopped me feeling so desperate

worth the kick in the bum

for the vodka and the rum

So enjoy all your mince pies

your loved one's smiling eyes

don't think of this miserable elf

until next year I'm on the shelf