Embrace the Darkness

I've always found it really hard,
To express what's on my mind.
It makes no sense to me at all
Why my thoughts are so unkind.

I've always felt a certain way,
And never understood why.
I feel so happy most of the time,
Yet I always want to cry?

In myself I've always been insecure
Although one may not show
Imagine having two sides of you
But both you hardly know.

One of them is what you want,
The one you let everyone see.
But the other one is not humane
And it doesn't feel like me.

Although I cannot kid myself, 
And pretend that side of me is not there,
I've grown to love the worst of me,
And foreseen the point to care. 

It all sounds somewhat heartless,
As if I do not have a soul, 
The fact is that I do have one 
But it's one I can't control. 

Ive learnt to embrace this fact,
I no longer want to be the same.
Because I am a fearless soul,
A soul nobody could tame.