EMOTIONAL VERTIGO
In the deep resistance, the spin
Creates emotional vertigo
Like bein' hammered to the flo'
Doctor No!
I just can't take this
Any 'mo,
Doctor please, my daddy's comin'
Back for me
---------------------------
And so I hide for awhile
Show my sister a smile
But I hear that danglin' belt buckle
Comin' for me, and me alone,
Cuz that's the way
Its supposd' to be
Can't find momma no 'mo
Bleedin' across the flo'
And this whole life
Got nuttin' fuh me
Got more 'dan nuttin' fuh me
I don't want no sympathy
Just want the money, to pay my doctor
Again, and again, and again
Got 'dat emotional vertigo
----------------------------
Now, I'm a grown up man
Got 'dis here gun in my hand
Gonna take care of some old rumblins'
Gone take care of some 'ol situations
Gonna do it
Again, and again, and again
To 'Dem three dead men
So doctor please
Call the police
'cuz I got
Watcha call it?
Emotional Vertigo....
Tony Taylor
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Comments
Lyrics.....smiles
You got THAT right !!......thanx for the honest recognition my friend!!..... peace n stuff!!...... out!!.....T xo ?✳✴☀♥
The real secret to dramatic writing is to find those points of contact...those moments and elements which resonate within a piece and reach out into the world...and to make them strike at the very solar plexus of the reader. One of the best ways to do this (as you've accomplished here) is through repetition of whole lines/ideas or parts of them...recalling the emotional significance and then subtly shifting their axis...allowing them to change organically in the mind of the reader, rather than forcing the change.
It takes an innate understanding of the subtleties of tone to pull this off at all ... it takes skill and a finely calibrated sense of taste and judgement to do it this well.
A remarkable piece of work...truly!
J ;)
Hey JASON!!... your words go straight into the heart of me...,, to the place where I find freedom ..,.,,straight into the music of words ......and their power to communicate..... reading what YOU find there seems to help me each time .....,you're one helluva commenter brother!!......thanx man!!...,, truly....... brothers in words.....T xo ?☀✴✳
Hello Tony...
Spoken from the heart it seems of a scared child that couldn't find his Mom then he sees her on the floor...
Seeking help for his nightmare to come to an end from his abusive Dad...
Great write!
Definitely a read for all the World...
Thank you for sharing...
Hugz and Smiles!
Love and Rockets!
Feathers
Yes!!....thanx so much FEATHERS!!....."A read for all the world"..,,, wouldn't that be nice!!...,,, but I am so happy you got to the heart of it!!..... much appreciated girlfriend!!!... stay groovy!!..... Glide on Love!!.....T xo ?☀✴✳♥
Hi Tony, Great piece...you tell the tale so well....how the abuse leads to self abuse and then the abuse of power repeats itself ...This will happen for generations to come as the people that raise us are always going to be part of who we turn out to be...some see this and do what they can to change but many just continue the cycle. I loved the slang as I read in my head I pronounced everything as if I was from the "hood" (well from what I've seen in movies anyway) I don't think i'll attempt to read this out-loud hahahah...well actually I might ;)
Brilliant
Lorna
xxx
LOL!! LOL!!....i'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall when you DO read this aloud with all the glory of the slang from the hood!!....., that would be awesome sauce indeed!!.... thanks so much for reading this one Lorna!!..... I'm particularly proud of this one..... it has much of me within its walls......thanx for recognizing dear poet sister!!..... you're a pleasure!!..... smiles and hugs to you and yours!!......T xo ?☀✴✳♥
I gave Jason a rendition of it and he said I sounded ridiculous.....(definitely not what I sounded like in my head) hahahah
Lorna xxx
Hi Tony, this isn't your usual style. Very different. Enjoyed - Syd