Emptiness
Lonely inside
Falling deep
Falling hard
Falling fast
How long will this last
Short distance
Midway distance
Long distance are you here to stay
Chit chatting
Talking, yapping
Biting off all that you can chew
Happy
Sad
Somewhere in between
Do you really mean all the things you say to me
Creepy
Crazy
Scary too all the things that make me so frightened of losing you
Stupid
Ignorant
Idiotic fool
Do the things I do n say drive you insane
Life is hard I know it
But sometimes my mind plays tricks on me so when I'm alone without you close I feel so empty inside not sure whether you feel the same because my mind n body tell me different things
So when anxiety strikes though I know you love me too my mind asks could this be true deep down you know it is so you go with the way your body talks for when they align again your mind is set free for when it comes to love you know when it's truly strong
For the distance becomes closer by every second I'm with you
And the falling is something I know I'll always do when it comes to you
Written by JayJay Jennie (C) copy right protected
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Comments
Hello Jayjay Jennie...
A Jello Pretzel?
Great write!
Thank you for sharing...
sparrowsong
Thanks for the comment Sparrowsong means a lot that you like my work my newest best so far I'd say for me is native
so forgot to mention this poem wasn't finished I just wasn't sure the ending though it's called emptiness it's meaning not really if that makes any sense
The tormented untrained mind is by far the most dangerous of enemies.
Yes it sure can be but I'm glad to have this piece finished I just wasn't sure the ending to begin with emptiness doesn't always have to mean something bad but yes you're right thank you for your comment appreciate you taking the time to read my work
To me, this poem is about someone falling in love again after past hurt. Its always difficult to trust when trust has been broken in the past but when you do find someone to trust its amazing. But then come the times when you are alone. Perhaps they have gone to work or popped to the shops. Or maybe they've gone to see a friend. It's in that instant ,when the coziness evaporates, that you suddenly feel very unsure again. You know there is no need ... but still that feeling comes. This, to me, is what this poem is about. Sorry if I got it wrong ... but I loved reading it x
You got it in one thank you for reading and liking my written work I enjoyed reading your comment I'd like to hear more from you and read some of your work
I like the staccato beginning to this poem. Short, snappy lines are very effective particularly given what you are conveying here in what I interpret to be the first part of your poem which for me has six distinct sections all leading to the line "life is hard I know it."
This then leads to what I interpret to be the second part of your poem where you try to reach a resolution, an understanding but it proves difficult.
Very interesting last two lines. "The distance becomes closer by every second I'm with you. And the falling is something I know I'll always do when it comes to you."
So, despite all the possible reasons you set out for this person not being right, deep down they are because the writer cannot stop. I really like the poem being bookended by the the image of falling because that is what it's all about.
I'm not sure what you mean about this part,
So, despite all the possible reasons you set out for this person not being right, deep down they are because the writer cannot stop.
But thank you for your feedback it means a lot
It's describing the love I've for my wife and how much. I miss her when she's gone as I'm so used to having her around with being hurt so many times in the past I've never had the comfort she gives me so when she's gone I panic because my comfort has gone but only for a short while when she's back I feel safe again
I think it's trying to say without my love close by I feel everything is unsafe until she returns to help me feel safe agajn
I never really thought of this as referring to previous relationships. That's an oversight on my part. Sorry. So when I say setting out the reasons for this person not being right I got that wrong because you are not referring to that person. And I'm getting myself in a mess trying to explain. I can see now the meaning of your poem.
Sorry I got this one wrong.
No need to apologise I appreciate your opinion and your feed back I think I understand now why you thought that looking back on your message and I guess part of what you're saying is true but yes it's about my marriage and maybe you're right I'm looking for reasons for her not to be my person because I'm scared of being hurt again when in all reality she's exactly what I need
if you understand what I'm trying to say
Jayjay
Yeah I do understand. And thank you for your understanding. I appreciate it.