Emptiness

As the darkness begins to fade And the horrid brew takes its toll Silently I stumble Through my desperately pounding brain Thinking everything – yet nothing My brain convulses within my skull My heart struggles to break free of its organic cage Eyes twitch; images darken I am not with the world. I am separate; A stranger that will never grasp the concept of normality. All alone, he sits in a dark prison, tortured by the sound of silence. It is not long before the crushing nothingness proves too much and sends him down to the depths. The symbols are abandoned, the empty paper a white flag. A bare bed awaits him, beckoning him to meet his fate. His limbs make the decision for him as they shamble forward, ready to end it all. Lying back, he closes his contracting eyes as the poison does its dirty work. Pounding at the gates, his thrashing heart and jaded mind beg to be set free. But alas, some force is cruel enough to deny them of their natural right. Helpless, he is pinned between life and the other side, captured with no hope of freedom.   Time, As well as all other laws of nature, are warped, if at all present. His body sinks as the walls close in on him. He shuts my eyes as we brace ourselves for the inevitable end. It does not come. Dawn has arisen. Early light pokes through my window. Tentatively, I peek my eyes open. A new beginning is in motion as birds begin to chirp. My head still hurts, my body lags behind my mind – or is the other way around? – and I still am alone, but I am in control. There will be more battles to fight, new fragments of me to discover, but for now, I carry on. Not victorious, yet not defeated. I am just another person, with my own set of thoughts, desires, and emotions locked deep inside the depths of myself. Perhaps one day I will venture down into those dark chasms and clean myself out, bit by bit. But for now, I carry on. Not perfect, but my own.