Empty Vessel

I need the silence
Blood flowing in my head.
Heartbeats quicken, jumping with abandon.
A sense of loneliness like a shroud envelops me,
I hear a voice in my head, speaking but silentlyâŚ.
who do I tell my fears to?.....
Iâm never who I say I am.
Who would know me anyway?
No one wants to share this bottomless pit
of feelings of abandonment, numbing all senses.
Ghosts from my past memories fill my empty emotions
Is this a dream? An incubus to swallow me whole...
I talk endlessly without being heard,
say words no one absorbs.
Take this anger away... that isnât me!
Iâm the silent loving one.... ignored.
Pain should be hurting but sometimes pain is a salve.
When I smile it hides the anger.
Donât tell me to trustâŚfaith rendered  to dust.
Emptiness sucks out my soul,
I let each dream pass me by without a backward glance.
The road ahead unsignposted and seemingly unending
I block out the world -faith gone in humanity.
I look normal, I look nice, I smile  to disguise my black soul
You donât see me- know me -only what I chose to display.
When I leave the room no one  even knows Iâve  gone away
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Comments
Wow LODIGIANA!!.....this was a VERY compelling dive into the darkness of the invisible personalities ramifications and twists and turns!!...... unbelievable phrasing enveloping the reader.... and draping the drama of true loneliness.....I really hope this is a fiction..... for this is a powerful darkness you've conveyed here!!.....ALL STARS!!...... well done!!..... LOVE and ROCKETS!!......T xo ?âłâ´â
Hi Tony!!...life is never completely black or white is it?.....we each hold a little brilliance and horror within us but keeping both under control is sometimes the hardest game...but  I am so thankful that I can maybe convey some of the darkness and despair others might have problems expressing and being THEIR  voice! .....I love reading your comments  dear friend...they always give me fresh inspiration.. Thank you so much  xxx
LodigianaÂ