Fade

I wanted to write something beautiful 
but of recent events 
I am sure you know
 what often occupies my mind
when you have to learn to live without something, 
someone. 
your mind often dwells on that subject 
Like a drug. You crave it. 
Unanswered questions
Unmet expectation
Unachieved dreams
You have to start over. 
Realize who you really are. 
Learn what you truly want in life.
In love. 
Even as I’m figuring these things out. 
It’s hard not to think of who I once loved.
Having spent years thinking of a future with them and now all of a sudden they are not in my future 
Not even in my present. 
Will they fade?
Like a once beautiful sunset 
the sky now turns to grey. 
I am left to be. 
Left to grieve
Left to find me. 
Just tell me this 
How do you give up on something that you have fought for so long to have.