Fallen Angel

I've fallen down broken my wing didn't really hurt just left a little sting I'm stuck here until I pay for all the things I didn't say
I stay hidden quiet in the back crying to myself
how about that
a broken child with a broken wing hurt from all the names he was call and all the things people said
made him cry as he held down his head
stuck in a hole crash landing from his wing being broken from all those harsh words that were spoken
hears voices in his head of all the memories and the things that are soon to be "dumbass" "freak" "lonely prick" and every word felt like the sharpest stick
smashing its way into my mind leaving in shards of wood there at the same time
"just one nice word" I thought to myself "just one nice boy or girl" then my head started to twirl
" you'll die alone"
"you'll never admit to be anything"
"why are you even here"
it pushed me more then I feared I looked down on my hands all I saw was blood
I jumped closing my eyes then looking again but it was only mud my heads screwing me over wanting me to quit
so that is what I did cry and just sit not moving from that spot as a blade appears near my side
holding the answer to the end me reaching for it as I cried
eyes full of tears I look at myself through the blade thinking look at what all the harsh people in my life had made
I drew the blade as I shed one last tear at the moment to end my life my bodies filled with fear so I gave this option more thought thinking of all the painful memories I have fought
taking a look at my back seeing all the knifes left behind jammed into my back with a smack so many were there I couldn't count I once tried to take them out
but it was too great of an amount it pushed me to more of the thought of letting my life go but right when I was going to take my last breathe my dream in my mind begin to flow
I was a grown man with a beautiful wife but in my hand wasn't that knife
it was a beautiful babe girl and this is what I've wanted more than anything in the whole world I took a look at her face as she gave me a beautiful smile and it sent my heart flying for miles
as I held her crying my tears my beautiful wife held me telling me the end is not near I stared into her eyes wondering how she knew but before I could say a word the dream came
to
no more would show I threw the blade away crying with my hands over my eyes not knowing what to say I removed my hands and the blood was back I thought I was crazy as I stared at my hands but when I looked up made me into a new man
it was that beautiful girl from before giving birth even though it wasn't the best sight for this beautiful angel she made it all worth I understand now the bloods not from my death its from the birth of my babe girl and the blood on her body it left
I held her high and smile as she cried my mind started to become clear but it was something I began to fear I know now if my mind was fixed that id have to go back to the life I've hated since the age of six
but I knew I had to go so I kissed her on the head as I heard wind begin to blow I handed her to her mother who's laying in the bed laying there looking so weak but before my mind became one she began to speak
"don't worry this time will come as long as u don't do anything dumb. I love u as she will very much do to but our family existing is all on u
and before I could say I love u too my head came back to
Sad from being so close yet so far from my dream wishing that my life was already how my dream seemed but I got up feeling that losing my life wasn't the way
thinking that ill be a great father one day