Falling apart

These feelings wont go away

the hurt, sadness and anger stays.

My soul is stained,

my heart is pained.

I will not cry

or let my feelings free to fly.

Shut inside my heart,

I feel like I am falling apart.

I allow no one to get close to me.

I cannot set myself free.

I build a wall around my emotions,

I am my own poison.

Set on dying alone

as skin and bone,

my heart left as hard as stone,

my soul left without a home.

I cant think straight,

I cant control my fate.

My emotions bubble over,

I swallow the poisoned clover.

For a small amount of silence,

I inflict on myself a painful violence,

and for a short time it is quiet,

the way I like it.

I don't want to talk about how I feel,

I do not want these wounds to heal.

I need this pain,

to stay sane.