Fast P A U S E

So much time i spend trying to figure out , what i want , or who i am, or who i want to be/ i spend a lot of time thinking of what to say, or how too look, theres certain things i let you see//

i feel confused and i feel lost/ i feel like my life is passing by so fast, but my body and mind, is paused//

i try to figure out my feelings 24/7 , i see if my decisions are from my heart or my mind/ i spend a lot of time seeing what i need and what or who i want, but doing that.. it wasting time//

i haven't been able to really live, with all these questions and feelings going on/ i fix one problem or figure something out. two seconds later, another mystery. for how long can i stay strong?//

i have family and so little friends/ but i have P R I D E, the laughs and jokes are good and funny, but when I'm on my way home, or in my room. i realize its all make pretend//

i see everyone around me, living .. living exactly how they want/ with money, with cars, and family and a lot a lot of friends, they even have someone to love//

did i pause my life? am i the one stopping myself from living , from loving?.. i don't know/ i will stay paused, i will stay here, until someone or something, tells me .. don't stop, don't stay paused.. press play .. and GO//