Fatherly

I have found myself to be a different person. 
The more I think about the faults I have, the more I think I'm not worthy of remission.
For all the times I've cursed your existence...
For all those hateful words I said, I wouldn't retract. 
But time and time and time again, I shake my head and remember then.
You caused my remorse.
You caused my pain.
You lied, you cheated, you drank yourself away.
You broke my life from what was whole.
Here I am now, 18 years old,  thinking about you and the days of my childhood.
Because even now, my Father, you hardly make time for my brother and myself.
Because even now, you still are too cheap to pay for the broken damage you've cost me.
And for this, I wouldn't care if you burned in hell.