Fear

As a child 
I was afraid of the night.
For in the darkness I could not see
The monster that hid in my room.
But as an adult
I am more afraid of the day
For in the light I still can not see
The monsters that hid among me. 

In the dark there is solace
No one can see me
See the tears I cry
See the way I break down.
In the day I am in full view
I cannot hide
Only appear
As a hollow apparition
Translucent in the sun. 

And what did I do? 
To deserve remorse?
To have the sun not warm me
To always look down and not see
To all but barely be-
Alive. 

And so 
I've created two different me's
-as different as night and day-
One insists upon hiding 
Shying from the sun
The other comes alive 
If only for a moment
In the depressive abyss of night. 

For at night I do not have to smile
Or greet. 

I can sit
And cry in a pleasure so sickly sweet.