Fear is fear

I never knew I could have felt such overriding fear,

of anyone  or anything both far away and near.

‘Don’t be afraid’ I tell myself with quaking inner voice.

‘a fear of fear is nothing much, we always have a choice’

Who told that lie? It isn’t true, I know it’s all out there….

My terror’s real, my mind is blank, my lips and tongue are dry;

I open up my mouth to scream but cant force  a cry.

I want the world to stop – please take me back to yesterday

when in my world all was complete, just take this fear away!

I make a deal with God to do whatever it might take

to make things right , put back the clock  please listen for Gods sake!

 This paralysing hurt is seeping slowly through my soul

I see mouths moving but no sounds except a garbled noise

I sit surrounded.... but alone ..around my feet are toys…

No hands to hold, no face to kiss, no laughter from my boy,

My universe collapsed and dark no longer any joy.

No kisses, hugs or saucy smile to brighten every day

my greatest fear has been fulfilled- my boy has gone away.

Lodigiana