Feelings I feel right now...

Pain,
happiness, 
Anguish and smiling in vein.
Illness stricken,
Now.taking over my heart.
Whats next?
My brain.
No wonder I don't feel the same. 
Seems that in life,
I've not much left to gain.
So I'm going to keep this simple.
Nice and plain.
this isn't my death note.
Although that stroke feels not so far in the distance.
The reaper,
Waiting to take me away.
I've never been scared of dying,
So why fear now.
I've just got to enjoy my living to its entirety,
some way,
Some how.
No matter what news I'm given,
I'm still gonna squeeze the eternal life out of me.
like a farmer,
Milking a cow!