Fetish Is Passe'

I'd been to a sexual therapist - nothing wrong with me,
don't list your drug addiction - there is no mystery;
The Hellfire Club in Sunbury turned out to be nothing,
surpassed by The Existentialist Club in Wopping.

I'd grabbed my cup of tea and waded in to oblivion,
it was nonsense, I'd had more experience than any of them; 
the difference between pleasure and excitement is knowledge,
when you're made to realise that your life is a privilege.

Mother used to say that twelve year old boys were exciting,
where on Earth did she ever get that peculiar idea from?
Even to say such an obscure thing was outrageous, not decent,
and anyway, I've never ventured into anything, like recent. 

She said to go upstairs and wash my hands with soapy water,
from bad to good, this transition - so who had taught her?